We are learning to 
put passion into our writing and make it more exciting to read.
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Attempt 1: 
I feel it a smooth and a coffee and chocolate. it square and yummy and the top of it he had a  name carbury. it smell like a milo and smell like a coffee and a chocolate cake. it so yummy and full of sugar the chocolate is melting on my tongue and it full of sugar in my tongue. | 
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Attempt 2: 
I feel the sweet smooth chocolate coffee.It a cube and yummy and top i see a name it name carbury milk. It smell like a chocolate sugar and milo and smell like a chocolate coffee cake. The chocolate is full of sugar and smelting in my tongue just like a burning ice on my tongue. | 
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Attempt 3: 
I think is smooth chocolate milk and a melting chocolate coffee and burning from the dragon fire breath.is see a many many mountain in the chocolate and a sugar mountain with a chocolate a sugar on the top. 
 My tongue is just breaking and a earthquake in my tongue because of the sweet of the chocolate milk.   | 
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Attempt 4: 
It smooth like a marshmallow chocolate coffee milk is melting on my tongue and my tongue is just like a punching the sweet.i see a chocolate hills in the chocolate bar and a berry and the top and a toppings. My tongue is just a broken bricks and broken glass on my tongue because of the sweet chocolate milk coffee and a burning house in my tongue because of the so so sweet chocolate milk coffee. | 
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Attempt 5: 
When i was taste my chocolate milk coffee just like i am in the paradise and i been eat all the chocolate milk coffee because of the heavenly sweet of the chocolate milk coffee. I see a chocolate hills mountain and i see a volcano and i see on the top on the chocolate hills mountain there’s a name on it the name is cadbury dairy milk   and some toppings. My tongue is a earthquake a there a shooting rocks from the space and a tsunami and a many fire with a dragon breath because of the so sweet.   | 
 
i think that is amzing
ReplyDeletethank's logan
DeleteI love your story about chocolate I love chocolate I can tell you do like chocolate
ReplyDeletewow reige this is amazing
ReplyDelete